Chris rock quotes on dating

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Niggas that live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, "I heard you got robbed." Nigga, you know you robbed me. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does. 'Cause niggas is shooting at the screen, "This movie's so good I gotta bust a cap in here! Niggas always want credit for some shit they supposed to do. You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker! The machine is like, "You better go see a teller." You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? " I'm not talkin' about Lionel Richie, I'm talkin' about them shiny niggas behind him! And if you got less than twenty dollars, the machine won't even talk to you. I know that ain't that black here, but in America that's about as black as a name could get. But as soon as you hear "Barack Obama"..expect to see a brother with a spear! [sings and mimes playing bass] "Too hot ta trot, now, baby, too hot ta trot, bay-by!

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If I look up into the windows of the apartments I pass, I can see old ladies on the phone. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window." Her whole philosphy of life was: if you die owing money, then you've won. If you're one of the chosen few people in the world lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the s**t out of it!

Martin Luther King was assassinated, Malcolm X was assassinated, John F. Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) 'Cause every woman in here, ever since you were every guy you met has been trying to fuck you.

Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) Black people yelling "racism! So everybody bitching about how bad their people got it: nobody got it worse than the American Indian. Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) I'm watching the news Tupac Shakur was assassinated, Biggie Smalls assassinated, struck down by assassin's bullets no, they wasn't. Shit, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday. Every woman in here gets offered dick at least three times a week. That's right, every time a man's being nice to you all he's doing is offering dick.

Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, "Damn, he must have did something. " Niggers will say "I would blow your fucking head off--if I could afford it! Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) A bunch of girls say, "You don't need no man to help you raise no child" shut the fuck up with the bullshit!

'Cause if a bullet costs 00, there'd be no more innocent bystanders.

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