Dating not attracted to

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If you came from a chaotic home as a child or if one of your parents was gone or not very available to you when you were young, you probably sought out romantic partners in your adult life who didn’t focus on your needs, either.In other words, the people you have been drawn to or attracted to have not been the kinds of people who will give you what you need.Having a physical and sexual attraction to your partner is extremely important because without it, you're missing a huge part of a relationship: physical intimacy and connectedness.If you really want to work on it with this guy I recommend that you talk to him about where you're at now.What needs to happen is that you need to change the type of person to whom you’re attracted.The only way to do that is to keep dating someone who seems kind and reliable, even if you think you aren’t sexually attracted or that they seem a little boring.For most people, it is normal and healthy to only date people to whom they’re truly sexually attracted.However, there is another large group of men and women who actually should date people they’re not immediately attracted to, and I will tell you why!

If this is the case, then it's tricky to tell you how to resurrect the romance when it wasn't there in the first place.

The point is to stick with it, and to focus on what you value.

If you meet someone who is kind and reliable, isn’t that the brass ring?

The men and women I work with who have changed their lives and found good relationships often say that they were not very sexually attracted in the beginning to their partner, but they forced themselves to keep giving that new person a chance.

What’s interesting is that after a few months or so of dating someone sane and “appropriate” (as therapists like to say), most men and women find that they actually prefer this new type after all, even though they didn’t feel that way in the beginning.

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