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That simplistic answer cuts deep but has a great deal of validity. If he’s not that into you, you might as well know as soon as possible.

It is 2011, not 1911, not 1961, 1991, not even 2010. Some of you are trying to play ‘new games’ and do ‘modern dating’ with ‘old’ attitudes that are out of sync.

If you’re still looking to be pursued, then you haven’t been captured, which means you’re not ‘in it’.

This means that if you’re still thinking, feeling, and acting like someone who thinks that the other person should be doing the ‘chasing’ and ‘initiation of interaction’ effort, that means that whether you’re just dating or you’re in a relationship, you’re either holding back or you take a passive, backseat role and effectively hand over the wheel or the reins to partners. At what point do you feel that you should step up and make an effort to help maintain the relationship and drive it along?

When you have a full life on your own (or appear that way) you are much more attractive to men. If he’s lazy and you don’t mind being in charge and doing everything in the relationship yourself – then go ahead and call him every weekend to see what plans you can come up with. (Or I’m free Sunday or Tuesday) You can feel free to offer an alternate time which let’s him know you are interested.

But don’t get mad later when you are tired of being in charge of everything. When he calls at the last minute, you can say, “Oh that sounds like fun. But, he’ll also get the message that he needs to make plans in advance.

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